[Info-vax] Folks not even one question about May 28th?

[JF Mezei]

Sue, is your surprise related to the press release below ? If so, will
you be offering front row tickets to that fashion show ? Are you to be
the model ? :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


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PALO ALTO, Calif., April 1, 2009

HP is very pleased to announce the launch of a totally new product line
that will not only generate products, but also provide for added
synergies to bring new customers to HP's other products.

On May 28th, at 20:00 EDT, HP will unveil its complete line of HP
branded high end lingerie products at a fashion show organised by Mode
Magazine.

"We've beaten IBM in the IT industry, and now we're setting our eyes on
Victoria's Secret as our next competitor" said Mark Hurd, CEO of HP. HP
will launch a complete advertising suite to unleash its new products and
will likely buy some serious advertising space at the next superbowl to
attract male customers to HP's computer products.

And because every garment will sport a large HP logo, this will provide
 free advertising whenever a male sees a female wearing HP lingerie.
There are also plans to produce HP swimming suits which would bring HP
free advertising at beaches where billboards are not permitted.

"Unfortunatly , because HP's main PC customer base consists of geeks who
never see real women, some have questioned the advertising value of this
new venture" said Vas Deferenz, an analyst at Bras and Panties magazine.

Rumours are that HP will be aiming its marketing push towards enterprise
customers who are more likely to be married. HP is epexpected to unlesh
a secret weapon for the May 28th's fashion show.  Undisclosed sources
have indicated that HP may use a well known employee to  parade around
in stilettos and wear nothing but HP branded lingerie on the runway
which should convince male enterprise customers to buy that underwear
for their own wifes.


Also, by using HP's existing distribution channel, surveys have shown
that sales of lingerie via those computer/geek stores will increase
since they will tap into males who would never be caught dead in a
female lingerie shop. Best Buy has already begun to train their sales
representative on helping male customers estimate the sizes needed for
their wifes and what styles work best. Because there will be  geek to
geek relationship, it will be possible for male customers to bring
digital images of their wives, and Best Buy will have software that will
"undress" their wives and fit them with the HP branded lingerie so that
males will be able to choose the best style. This is a type of service
that would not be possible in a female lingerie shop where males would
never be comfortable doing that.

HP would not comment on whether its line of lingerie would attract
transvestites and if this might yield to some negative publicity should
pictures of HP branded lingerie worn by fat & hairy transvestites with
geek glasses be published on the internet.  "Having your logo everywhere
does bear some risk".


About HP

HP, the world’s largest technology company, simplifies the technology
experience for consumers and businesses with a portfolio that spans
printing, personal computing, software, services and IT infrastructure.
More information about HP (NYSE: HPQ) is available at http://www.hp.com.


Disclaimer

This document may contain sexist statements, statements that could lead
to sexual discrimination charges, politically incorrect statements, and
HP denies any responsability since it didn't write this statement. HP is
not responsible if images/ideas depicted in the above fake statement may
result in increased blood flow in certain parts of the reader's anatomy
resulting in embarassing situations should the reader need to stand up.
HP is also not responsible if some statements may resulted in projectile
vomiting directed at keyboards.

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