[Squaredancing] Subject: When in Rome

[M0220sr at aol.com]

Subject:  When in Rome

Our club is in an area of the state we are in where it is known that clubs in 
our general area dance "hands up" (waves, etc.) .  When our club dancers 
visit other clubs  in our same area (and when they visit us...) we know that they 
dance hands-up and everyone has fun.  

Dancers outside of our general area were taught by their square dance 
teachers the fore-arm  (and sometimes the handhold) grip for waves, etc.  

We generally have special dances once a month. Out of town callers and cuers. 
 People visit from other states as well as from one large city to our south.  
>From the city to our south, whose dancers primarily use the forearm grip, 
dancers come and generally have a pretty good time at our special dances.

However, there is just one tiny aggravating thing they do....they want to 
force you to use their style of grip instead of adapting to the hands-up position 
like we do.  They come to you to do an arm turn or a Swing Thru and will 
bring your hand down into a forearm grip as much as saying, "You're doing it wrong 
and I am more than glad to wrench your arm into the proper position for us to 
get through the Swing Thru....and DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

Why is that?  

The visitor is traveling into your area, visiting your club, dancing with 
your club members and other visitors from our area...but they insist on trying to 
force you to dance their way of dancing.  When my wife and I visit other 
clubs and/or go to conventions, etc.,  we respect other styles of dancing and look 
for the way that particular club does certain things when dancing. We don't 
force our normal "hands-up" on them, we adapt to their handhold.  It avoids 
awkward situations and the likelihood of having bad feelings.  That usually 
results in that you hope that person never gets into the same square with you 
again...even though it is never said.  Some of the members in our club want to put 
a sign on the front door of our hall announcing to visitors that our club uses 
a hands-up handhold position but others feel it is a losing fight and the 
out-of-town visitors would ignore it anyway.  

I was also taught that you never force a lady to twirl (like some aggressive 
people do) and that if she has her arm down when approaching you don't twirl 
and if she has her arm up, that is your signal that she doesn't mind twirling 
on a Right and Left Grand.  And if you do twirl you don't release her in such a 
manner that she loses her balance and/or goes into orbit or into another 
square.

To summarize....we live by the old adage "When in Rome..."

Richard M.

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